Is your business struggling to wield any profits? Are you barely managing to provide for your family? Is your spouse urging you to find a real job? Are your kids glancing at you with a famished disappointed gaze? Have you begun finding temporary solace in the warm embrace of Johnnie?
Worry no more, little hapless minion! All you need is merely a modicum of fake consulting to transform your almost insolvent business into the most lucrative venture in la la land … and no one is better at feigning success than the godfather of pretense, señorita Frank Kern!
Frank appears to be as qualified to confer financial strategies as Charlie Sheen is to proffer advice on sobriety … but hey, I guess you can’t criticize someone who says he’s doing it for free … right?
Anybody who is even just slightly acquainted with Felonious Frank knows that benevolence isn’t a term he’s entirely familiar with (both in word or deed) … scam is the name and sham is his game … but it’s kinda hard to play when there are so many prohibitions restricting your racketeering rump after you have been entangled with the FTC.
So even though Irwin F. Kern, IV doesn’t have the education, the required qualifications, nor the proven experience, just a very substantial criminal record … he nonetheless offers supposed “free training” for aspiring business owners. But unlike Merriam-Webster’s punctual definition of the adverb “free,” Frank has a very different notion about what that word means.
The webinar is really lame- Replete with vain platitudes … megalomaniacal comparisons of Frank to Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs … some low-tech Facebook spamming tricks … and a barrage of Frank’s self admissions that he has no true credentials or legitimately recognized accreditation and that he always was unsuccessful at everything (naturally those who can, do, and those who can’t, fake teach).
But the webinar itself isn’t Frank’s real goal … it’s just a facade, a veritable platform to gather the naive wannabes and pitch them his latest frauduct, Frank Kern’s Advanced Consulting Class.
The “Class” is actually just six video conferences online (once a week) where the unqualified and unskilled Frank pretends to know how to consult consultants in how to develop their wretched consulting business. The cost of Frank’s Charlatanry Class is $7,800 … an utterly impoverishing sum for most small businesses in today’s economy, but a small price to pay in exchange for absolute stark nothingness.
But Frank doesn’t care … because he’s not a real consultant. The only thing that he really is … always was … and always will be is a sociopathic con man. If you are looking for actual consulting, you should try a real consulting firm.