Nokia Reviewing Nokia by Nokia for Nokia

Nokia Theatre

Nokia really really believes in its new smartphone Lumia 620. The Finland-based company reckons that the device is so spectacular that it is even willing to utilize a little bit of jugglery just to promote it. And if someone would grouse and grumble they’ll just call it “marketing.”

Until 2007, Nokia was the undisputed ruler of the mobile space. But then came Steve Jobs with his damned iPhone and screwed up everything. The market share avalanche went on forcefully as later on more and more consumers began adopting devices of other companies that have been using Google’s forever-cursed Android OS.

But now, Nokia heralds it intends to return to the center of the mobile world through partnership with another company that arrived so ridiculously late to the smartphone party, Microsoft, and a new advanced hipster device of its own, the Nokia Lumia 620.

And because Nokia is so cool and rejuvenated and nifty these days, the company is not only offering you just the smartphone like all the other lame brands, Nokia additionally bestows you a totally neutral review of it (North Korea style)!

This time last week, I was lucky enough to take delivery of the new Nokia Lumia 620 – Nokia’s latest, and most affordable, Windows Phone 8 smartphone. Since then, I’ve been using it on a daily basis and putting it through some real-world tests.

Wait a minute, Adam Fraser… if when you say “lucky enough” you actually mean “the company that I work for gave me the device purposely and deliberately so I could write a manipulative piece of propaganda about it” then yes, you were indeed lucky enough.

Like a kid on Christmas morning, I grabbed the delivery bag, tore it open and glanced at the contents – a blue box with the words “Nokia Lumia 620″ printed on it.

Wow Adam… Kim Jong-un would be so proud if you would deign to wield your prattle prowess to galvanize his mirthful Gulags.

To save you the gooey retch when you read this “hands-on review,” here’s a short synopsis of its adhesive fundamental points:

Hardware and design- Really awesome and it had even matched Adam’s jumper!
Software- Really awesome and made Adam grasps photos in an utterly alternative perception!
Performance- Really awesome and doing a fantastic job at blah blah blah!

Overall- Really-truly-absolutely-super-mega-ultra awesome and totally unbiased (if unbiased=biased)!

This is a clear attempt of Nokia to finesse consumers by offering a supposedly honest review whilst in truth, it’s nothing more than a giant ad courtesy of Nokia, and that has been posted by an employee of its marketing agency.

But apparently, Adam doesn’t think so…

Adam, you work for the fucking marketing agency of Nokia, which incidentally promotes Nokia’s products! How the hell can you write an objective review about one of its products?! It’s essentially you’re job description to write solely favorable materials!

But hey, at least you got a smartphone that matches your jumper.

Nokia Lumia and a Matching Jumper

Nokia Lumia 620 and a Matching Jumper